So meanwhile I'm getting my life on track so that when I return to Belgium I can pick things up where I left off.
I'm looking into getting a bachelor's degree in film. Not only have I realized that the realm of movie making is something that has been a part of me for almost my entire youthful life. As a kid, I was addicted to TV shows, as crappy as they were, Neighbours (the Australian version), the A-Team, Melrose Place, and so on.
The first movie I ever saw in the theater was "Home Alone". My friend Wendy can still vouch for my obsession with everything that has to do with this movie (NY, Xmas decorations and a bad taste for comedy).
When the era of video cams erupted, I was first to lay my hands on one. Michel, a former boyfriend of my sister Lynn, had this ancient monster that actually recorded film. This was the first time I peeped through a lens that was not my second hand photo camera I got as a Communion present or something.
But it wasn't until my brother bought his own camcorder that I really discovered the wonders of film making. I borrowed his camera and went to Spain with my niece and coincidentally made a horror movie that included a car speeding away from a house at night, a search through the ruins of a house, and my grandmother snoring like a monster truck. It became a classic.
In 2001, Aki and me went to the West Coast to visit Kirsten, and K was extremely generous to let me use her digital camcorder. I shot footage like a scientist discovering alien life on earth. Back home, I made 4 cute little movies from that trip. I used my first edit software and felt like a kid in Lego-land with all the gimmicks and effects that this program had to offer.
I believe it was for my 20th birthday that I got my very own digital video camera. Aki had arranged this. I was completely stunned. Not only did I now have my very own magical film recording tools, I was amazed at the generosity and kindness of everybody around me. I mean, what had I done to deserve this kind of present. I think it was the best thing I ever got next to the cake that my friend Elgertsje had made in the Wapper youth club. I wish I had a camera with me then to have marked this Kodak moment. I was standing behind the counter serving drinks when suddenly all of the lights snapped and a bunch of lit candles on a creamy cake zoomed over to me. I stood speechless and was fully surrendered to my emotions.
But as I was saying, not only have I discovered that film making is just my 'thing' (I haven't mentioned the countless times I watched my dvd collection and analyzed every shot or memorized my favorite lines), but I also really want to get a Bachelor's degree. Not just any kind, I want a film degree. I lived in LA and checked out the tuition fee for film schools. I think Long Beach film school was the cheapest with 'only' 10.000 dollars per year. Of course, the school you really want to get into is either UCLA or NY Film academy. Both in the range of 30.000 to 60.000 dollars a year. I mean, how could I ever raise that much money ?
I did some school exploring in Belgium (which kinda sucked cause there you are in LA, the movie capitol of the world with a lack of financial resources and now you need to look for a place that's as far from this city as the sun is from Pluto.) and found three schools: The Film Academy in Brussels where hand drawing is a mandatory class. Fuck that, I mean, I still draw a matchstick man with five pointy sticks for a hand and I have no desire to change that.
The other school is Narafi Film School in Brussels, which actually looks really cool. If I'd win the lottery and were able to live financially free for the next three years, I would so do it like, right now.
My only doubt is that I'm really sick of having no money, especially when coming from a place where I was financially worry free. If I could get a scholarship to put me through school, then this definitely would be something to look into. So one of the things when I get back to B is find out how this could work.
A third option was evening school in Antwerp. I was totally siked when I discovered that you could also do film at night. I had it all figured out; find a boring, got-nothing-better-to-do-than-poking-my-nose-and-feeling-perfectly-fine-with-it-too kind of job, go to class at night for the next 5 years and fill up any spare time with enjoying life.
Now I find out that this night school doesn't offer Bachelor programs, but you will get a part time attendance certificate to get you started after 5 years. Again, fuck that.
Well, I'm still debating what is more important to me. Getting to learn about this passion of mine without necessarily having to receive the credentials for it. Or sacrifice the freedom that financial security brings and go to school for the next three years.
Ah, life decisions are always so freakin' wonderful.